STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS

 

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS:                               BOY: May I hold your hand?                                                GIRL: No thanks, it isn't heavy.                                                                         GIRL: Say you love me! Say you love me!                                    BOY: You love me...                                                                        GIRL: If we become engaged will you give me a ring??                      BOY: Sure, what's your phone number??                                                            GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest.                        BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple                                             GIRL: Darling, I want to dance like this forever.                          BOY: Don't you ever want to improve??                                          BOY: I love you and I could die for you!                                  GIRL: How soon??                                                              BOY: I would go to the end of the world for you!                          GIRL: Yes, but would you stay there??                                                                                                                  SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??                TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his        mouth.                                                                          MAN: You remind me of the sea.                                            WOMAN: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?                            MAN: NO, because you make me sick.                                            WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the   other.                                                                    HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out   of the mouth.                                                                                                                                          MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think,  Peter?    PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.                                                                                                      Girlfriend : "....And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"      Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".             Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"        Pupil : "The moon".                                                        Teacher : "Why?"                                                          Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun      gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".                                                                                              Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people   are no longer interested?"                                                Pupil : "A teacher".                                                          Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"                            Customer : "What other colors do you have ?"                                                                                                            My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called      current affairs.                                                             Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"                                      Sam : "It's a family tradition".                                          Teacher : "What do you mean?"                                              Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".      Teacher : "What about your mother?"                                        Sam : "She's a woman"..                                                                                                                                  Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"    David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's            performance repeated".                                                                 Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped   him, what virtue would I be showing?"                                      Student : "Brotherly love".                                                                 Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before          eating?"                                                                  Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".                                                                                                  Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"              Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten   people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've          treated. The others all died".                                               Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"              One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and   at the same time."                                                                                                                                      Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's      Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.                                  Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"                        One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand.."